You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
