there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
