I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i just wanna soil my oats bro
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
