you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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