This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize