I must be too annoying 4 u.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
