i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
