so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
