sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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