my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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