That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He shit in the fireplace
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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