If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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