i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
