I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You can't motorboat a personality
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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