BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
