you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
your like the ambassador to my penis.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
