Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
