Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Randomize
