Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just forgot I was standing up.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
