i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Found your dick twin last night
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
