oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
