everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Why is your signature on my underwear?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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