He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
