Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
