she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
