I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
