this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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