It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
