8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
