It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
