Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
