hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
