I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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