seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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