so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize