Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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