I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
