I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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