I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
