whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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