I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
