just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
