I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
