Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
