I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
