Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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