i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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