If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
