thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
