I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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