I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
