Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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