listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
