his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I have post one night stand depression
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
