Just cropdusted the office
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize