i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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