Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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