We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
