Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
