Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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