She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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