kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
