whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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