The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
