In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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