So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
