She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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