In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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