I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize