You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
