hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize