I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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