I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just threw up on my dentist
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
