he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
