did you get engaged???
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
