small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
cat food counts as protein by the way
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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