Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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